daniel beddingfield. if you're not the one.

i you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
if you're not the one then why does my hand fits yours this way?
if you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
if you are not mine would i have the strength to stand at all

i never know what the future brings
but i know you are here with me now
we'll make it through
and i hope you are the one i share my life with

i don't want to run away but i can’t take it, I don't understand
if i'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am?
is there any way that i can stay in your arms?

if i don't need you then why am i crying on my bed?
if i don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
if you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
if you're not for me then why do i dream of you as my wife?

i don't know why you’re so far away
but I know that this much is true
we'll make it through
and i hope you are the one i share my life with
and i wish that you could be the one i die with
and i pray in you're the one i build my home with
i hope i love you all my life

i don't want to run away but i can't take it, i don’t understand
if i’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am
is there any way that i can stay in your arms?

cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
and I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
and though i can't be with you tonight
and know my heart is by your side

i don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
if i'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am
is there any way that I

oohhh. im reallie tired :(

and ive got lotsa maths homework to do. i dun tink i'll do it though. cause im really really tired. sucks.

i slp reallie latee dis days. and im alwaes sooo busy. wiv trngs and stuffs. i feel tat my life is totally upside down nowadays. and i train almost everidae.

im aching like madd everidae. i tink i seriously need a 24hr sleep. im getting sooo tired i cant tink straight. im always falling aslp in class. wells.

class is like so damn bored. and im sitting beside monisha. wich is definetly boringg. wich makes me even want to slp moree. i dun share anything tat i can talk to her though. and sitting with her really sucks. no offence.

alrite. alrites. im sooo jealous of daddy. he went to buy the nokia 6220 fone. the one wich is like sooo cool. and yeahh. and he doesn't allow me to borrow it fer few daes. stupid.

but i'll be getting my motorola e3 80 soon. tat fone is really nicee oso kaes. okie. actualyl i want to but lotsa stuffs.

like. the oohhh-sooo-chio pink roxy slippers*. the new red adidas jacket*. new levis tanktop* and jeans*. sugarbabe's new album*. and daniel beddingfield's cd**. it must. must. must get tat. but im having such a hard time looking for it. andi still cant find it. sulks.

im want to watch sooo many movies. peterpan. last samurai. stuck on you. and so on. but i dun see tat ive got the time to watch dem all. since im trng almost everidae. sad :(

and i want the new version of me-to-you* bearr. its just sooo cutee. alrites. i want it for valentines day. someone get it for me. hahas.

anyhows. i got to go now. yeahh. my contact lenses are getting cranky. i betta remove dem. yupps. tke kaire toodles. lurve you to pieces. *cheers*

uh huhh. im backk online. i seem to be superr bored todae. maybe its cause im off frm trng todae. mm. maybe i got sooo used to having trng everidae. wells. maybee.

lalalax. its suchh a nicee weather. cold and yeah. and i went to on the aircon. now im freaking cold. and im wearing my fave red adidas jacket. hawhaw. i noe im lame. wells.

im having a headache now. for wadevaa reasons. but my head hurts. plus the fact tat my muscles are damn cramp up now. maybe i din stretch well after the gym trng yesterdae. arghh. sucks.

and i have a pile of overdue homework. yet to be done. and i promised mr tan to do one extra chpt since im handing up my work latee. and i have like erm. 3 chpts to finish tonight. and im totally off frm doing any hw now. damn.

i shall be a good girl and mugg todae. yeahh right. but i'll try. mm. daddy got a new hp. the one tat i wanted all along. sulks. and i tink im gonna get my damn fone changed soon. yeahh.

alrite. alrites. ive got to stop blogging right here. nth much to blog alreadyy. yupps. yupps. so yeahh. tke losta kaire yarh? and yupps love u guys to pieces. -hugss-

heyheys. ive jus finished fixing the class blog. ive changed the blogskin and its up now. hahas. okie. i hope its okie yarh girls? mm. if u all dun like the pic den maybe we can fix tat again. yupps. and tag the board kaes.

oohhh wells. i haven been blogging for days. cause my comp was crashed. and ive jus got it fixed. i might be getting a new comp if dis comp continue to get screwed up. yeahh. jus hope it doesn't get screwed for the mean time.

okie. i shall blog again later. yupps. love u all many many :)

alrites. jus here to sae.

a happie chinese new yr.

dun get it wrong. im not traditional.

heh. jus wishing tat everione will get wad dey're looking forward to.

red packets. *beams*

okie. i gtg now.

tke kaire and have a

happy happy chinese new yr.


lurve u all to pieces. sumackss*

alrites. jus here to sae.

a happie chinese new yr.

dun get it wrong. im not traditional.

heh. jus wishing tat everione will get wad dey're looking forward to.

red packets. *beams*

okie. i gtg now.

tke kaire and have a

happy happy chinese new yr.


lurve u all to pieces. sumackss*

heys. ive been jus looking thru the class blog. and i tink tat the blogskin is a lil too. erm. childish?! fer the class blog. okie. im reallie sorrie to sae tat. but its seriously a lil childish. *opps* but seriously. no offence larh. dun mind if i change it? anione hu's reading dis msg me at 92379904 kaes. ive been using back dis num(my old one) longg ago. but some of u dunno. yupps.

oohhh wells. i was running a fever yesterdae. and i got a real bad headache. sucks. and i was feeling to sickk to even go online yesterdae. hahas. but im alrite now. and i slpet like. god noes how longg. frm bout. 7 plus to 10 plus in the morning?

i missed sch todae. sad. sad. how i wished i wad in sch todae. many things happened. todae was the hockey trails. and 33 sec1s went fer the trail. hmm. i din noe tat the response would be sooo gud dis yr. maybe it was.

tmr is chinese new yr eve. and sch ends at 10. yays. but its gonna be boring. we're gonna have mass and holy communion tmr morning. the hall will be sooo stuffy and hot once again. wadevaa. but i cant wait to see bernetta and the 2c girls sing. hahas. and vaishnavi perform. its gonna be superr funny and lame. hahas.

ive jus found a pretty blogskin fer the class blog. and yeah. the class blog fer two saint bernedetta is still in processing. will be up soon. yupps.

alrites. i gtg now. my contact lense are starting to hurt. ive got to remove dem now. anyhows. tke kaire and have a happie new yr yarh?

may the fairies fly over to be by ur side to give u a hugg to keep u warm and stardusts frm the angels to make u slp real tight. lurve u all many many :) *cheers*

and im still waiting for you*.

i like the way you talk to me.

i like the way you look at me.

i like the way you smile at me.

i like the way you joke with me.

i like the way you laughs with me.

i like the way you do everithing.

i like ur every and everithing.


maybe i cant deny the fact.

maybe i cant deny the truth.

maybe i cant face it.

but i will alwaes noe tat i lurve you.

and i'll alwaes be dere tinking of you.

alwaes lurving you.

i like the way you talk to me.
i like the way you look at me.
i like the way you smile at me.
i like the way you joke with me.
i like the way you laughs with me.
i like the way you do everithing.
i like ur every and everithing.

maybe i cant deny the fact.
maybe i cant deny the truth.
maybe i cant face it.
but i will alwaes noe tat i lurve you.
and i'll alwaes be dere tinking of you.
alwaes lurving you.

i have a fucked up maid. a bitched up maid. she’s jus making our lifes so much more hectic and fucked up. she shud not even be called a maid. she doesn’t deserves to be called one. yeahh. she shud be called a stupid idiot. or maybe a crazee bitch.

im not trying to be mean alrite. but she’s reallie getting into my nerves. she has lost 3 pairs of my ankle socks. 2 pe attire. 3 shorts. and sum panty and sportsbra here and dere. and my bearr. fuck.

of all my stuffs. why does she fucking have to lost my ohh-sooo-cutee bearr?! tat crazee bitch. i dunno how she can lost so many of my stuffs. she n't noes how to wash clothes properly. and she doesn't even noe how to boil and egg. she jus cook egg soup fer u. instead of a boiled egg. stupid.

she's getting into my nerves. and everione's nerves. no one can seem to stand herr animore. we've been sooo patient dis 2 months. but she's still the same. its irritating.

mummy jus camee to tell me tat she's called up the maid agency and asked fer my present maid to be sent backk. yays. den i'll have a new maid soon. ive seen her photo. she suree looks like an alien. heh. maybe she's frm venus. hahas. jus jk. but im reallie glad tat my present maid will be gone soon :)

oohhh wells. class and lessons has been rather plain and boring. the topics are jus sooo blunt and dere's nth interesting bout it. esp maths. i dun get a shit out of indices. i dun seem to understand it. hahas. im a real idiot in maths. i admit :(

alrite. alrites. but science lessons can be pretty crazee and fun at times. mr tan doesn't scold or nag at us. he's a pretty fine teacherr. yeahh. hahas. he crack lame jokes. scientific jokes. dey're not reallie funny. but he's trying to keep us moree awake. i noe. i noe. and we are. heh.

hurhur.

samantha/.
heys girl. a happie beleated birthdae to u yarh. hahas. im sorrie tat i forgotten bout it. till the dae itself. but uve got my present right. hahas. and my ohhh-sooo-chio card. right. hehe. okie larhx. u tke kaire. have a happie yr ahead. and dun be too excited over chpt seven kaes. time will cum. alrites. lurve u loads :))

brenda/.
b r e n d a. u had betta change ur bagg kaes. if not. hahas. jus jk. im not sooo fiercee. but seriously. u shud jus go and change ur bag. the sling bag is jus too big and heavy fer ur shoulders. and it looks farni wiv the stick bag. hahas. u'll change it alrites. den i dun have to listen to all ur grumbles. kaekaes. u study and train hard dis yr kaes. lurve u many many :))

juliana/.
my dearr girl. how have life been? hope tat everithing is alrite. ive been trying to contact u. but i cant seem to get to u. sumhow. anyhows. u msg or call me soon kaes. ive got sum great stuffs to tell u. hahas. we'll catch up soon yarh? lurve ya.

janice/.
heys babe. its been sooo longg since we talked. so nicee to u to msg me jus now. hahas. hope tat sch and everithing is going right fer u. im suree it is right. and u keep me update of any else things. kaekaes. and i reallie missed u lots and loads. yeahh. we got out one dae and catch up kaes. yupps. cya soon. smuackksss.

kenny/.
u crazee fellow. crazee guy. u stop all ur craps kaes. its not wadd u all tink it is. all tat u tink are jus total puree craps. its not funny kaes. hehe. okie larhx. im scolding u. but u dun talk craps animoree horr. u'll alwaes be my fave korkor. and ive not seen u fer a longgg time. so ur hairr is getting spikierr? hahas. anyhows. tke kaire and yeahh. lurve u many many :))

hurhur.
tke my hands.
and i'll tke you*
where i'll go.

woahh. ive got my new track shoes. new shoebag. new pair yellow and blue socks. new stick bag. and new hockey stickk. yada. yada. im sooo superr happie. ive got almost all the stuffs tat i longed to have.

im sooo superr happie.
crazee.
cranky.
hyperr.

oh wells. im jus too happie. hahas. i dunno wadd im blogging. damn.

i lurve my daddy everr sooo muchh. hahas. he's jus sooo nicee. muahahahas. i reallie mus thk my daddy fer everithing. esp fer his cash. daddy has given me sooo much tat i all wanted. i mus be a gud girl :)


ive been wanting to get my new stick sooo much so tat i was bz scribbling i want my new hockey stick all over the place during lesson. hahas. im gonna have a shock wen i see wadd ive done to the class. hahas. all the mess ive created. lol.

alrites. i shall be going now. tke kaire peepos. lurve u girls loads.

i find todae the wierdest dae of my lifee. yeahh. todae we had trng. it was sooo early in the morning again. and i got to wake up even earlier than wen i go to sch normally. i woke up at 5am. its so earlyyy. anyhows. its over. hahas.

oohhh wells. u noe y its the wierd todaee? cus after trng. i was wiv ruth at somerset mrt. we're on our way to penisular. to look fer new hockey sticks. and we were sitting at the end of of the mrt station. and guessed wadd.

sumthing stupid happened. hahas. dere was dis guy. at the corner. and he was staring at us. like we got cream on our face. lol. den he suddenli saes tat ruth and i look alike. he saes we're twins. wahahahas. ruth and i r twins? gosh. do we reallie look alike? dammit.

and tats not the end. the guy asks us if we plae hockey. cus he saw us wiv the hockey sticks and balls. and guessed wadd. he saes tat he used to plae wiv RI. wadaheckk. he plaed fer RI? lol. and we were jus trng wiv dem awhile ago. and he saes tat dey train veri hard. and dey bcum veri gud. -.- promoting fer RI. hahas.

okie. den we went to look fer the hockey sticks. and the new mazon stocks are alreadi here. yeahh. and im gonna get my new hockey stick. stick bag. track shoes/turf shoes. new yellow and blue socks. and yeahh. most prob on wed. i can wait. hahas.

i need bout 300 bucks. mummy's gonna groan again. hahas. anyhows. daddy promised tat i can buy wadd i need. yays. it sooo superr happie. i lurve my daddy like madd. thks dad.

nenghui/.
heys girl. nenghui! r u alrite? is ur neck still pain? u mus rest well kaes. and plae well fer tmr's under 21 tournament. im suree u'll make it to the game. but u mus make sure tat ure alrites kaekaes. tke kaire. slp well and yeahh. lurve u to pieces. -hugss-

majella/.
a superr happie birthdae in advance to u kaes. im reallie sooo sorrie i cant make it to ur birthdae partee tmr. its my granny's birthadae on mon and i got to go fer dinner wiv my parents and cousins. i would lurve to be dere. but i cant make it. sorrie. but i wun ferget ur presentt. u'll have a biggggg present frm me kaes. lurve u many many :)

to all the pretty babes plaeing fer the first under 21 tournament tmr/.
heys babes! its ur first match tmr. theresian stc vs uwc. oohhh wells. dey might be tall. dey might be big. dey might be hugee. dey might be rough. dey might suck. but i noe tat u girls rawk and will make it kaes. relac. dun be so tense. esp. brenda and carolyn. i promised tat i'll be dere to watch u girls plae. but im sorrie. brenda. carolyn. madeline. susmitha. xinni. and the rest. i would lurve to be dere. reallie. but i cant make it. cus i have to go dinner in sum stupid resturant to celebrate my granny's birthdae. (im gonna put on weight again. sulks.) anyhows. u girls tke kaire. slp well. and plae ur everbest tmr. i'll be praying fer u girls. god bless kaes. lurve u girls many many :)

im superr tired. and i jus found out tat im running a fever. a highh fever maybe. 37.8 degrees. but i dun haf sars kaes. i tink my immune system is reallie going downn. maybe bcus i dun haf enuff slp everidae. yupps.

arghh. im feeling so sickk now. sucks and we're suppose to run 4km tmr. i dun tink i can tke it. 4km!? oohhh godd. wiv all the muscle craps and my fever. i tink 1km will be enuff to kill me.

its god damn cold now. im wearing a jacket wiv no aircon/fan on. im reallie cold. but i feel tat my head and my body is burning. dis feeling sucks. i dunno whether im cold or hot.

im feeling so tired and sleepy. i wanna slp!! but i got sooo many stuffs to do. and i haf to finish dem tonite. im doing the stuffs fer the hockey booth. fer the sec1 orientation camp tmr. its so last min. and im trying my best to do wadevaa i can tonite.

alrites. i tink i gtg and finish up all my stuffs. yeahh. and hope tat my fever goes down by tmr. i mus make it to sch sumhow. anyhows. tke kaire and dun fall sickk. ciao toodles.

:((

oohhh wells. im superr superr relieved and happie. dammit. i couldn't have been moree happie den now. yeahh. my hp bill came. and it was damn low. i mean reallie low kaes. it was only bout i tink 60 odd. 70 bucks. compared to the last few bills. its reallie considered low. okie. if u ever noe how much my previous bills were. hahas. its a miracle :))

todae's gym trng was reallie tiring. yeahh. and my stomachh is aching like fcuk. arghh. the muscles dere are reallie painful. it hurts. its all bcus of the 50 crunches and the 50 back extention. it was horrible. and im now drained of all my energy. im blogging like half dead now. sucks.

my damn brother. he's reallie irritating. he has got no right reasons to throw his fork and spoon at me jus now during dinner. irritating. he's jus in a bad mood. and took it out on me. tat stupid guy. cant wait fer him to go fer tuiton. den i dun hafta see him. his stupid facee :((

i've a pile of hw to do. and i reallie mean a pile. i got history summary to do. lit essay to write. maths questions to do. journal to write. cme work to be done. art sketch to be drawn. tuition hw to be completed. and i dunno wadd. and im reallie drained of all my energy. i dunno how im gonna complete dem.

sad sad :((

dere's pitch trng yesterdae. and it was at ccab. and i heard tat we might have hockey trng everidae. everidae!? and we're alreadi having morning runs every morning. and now i tink we got to change it to pressure running. we're either gonna haf pitch trng. stick trng. physical trng. or gym trng. maybe everidae. its reallie killing me. im alreadi like half dead.

im missing townn. i haven been to townn fer like. erm. 4 daes straight. and its a lil unusual fer me. cus i use to be in townn every single dae. haix. but i've got trng almost everidae. intensive trng i tink. so i got to attend trng. and i can make it to townn. i missed townn. and of course. all my frends. aww.

uh huhh. its kinda late alreadi. i got sooo many stuffs and hw to do. so i betta get going. so yeahh. catch up wif u guys soon. msg me or sumthing. yupps. byes toddles.

woahh. im so happie. jus finished my holidae assignments. hahas. though i finished it after the holidaes. heh. tell u a secrett. sshhhh. actuali. brenda read out all the workings to me over the fone. hahas. den i copyy it down.

im reallie veri thankful to brenda. hahas. i noe she's a lil pissed. cus i disturbed her wen she's watching her fave tele program. the seven sisters. hawhaw. aniwae. thks a hell load girl. (though u copied it frm eunice.)

church service todae rawks. yeahh. it was great. and i enjoy everithing of it. yupps. it was actualli so spirtual. yupps.

granny is over tonite. cus mummy and daddy are having sum important dinner. and i tink meeting. so granny is over to make sure we slp early. or rather. zoeleen and darius slp early. not me. hahas.

im in a superr gud mood now. oohhh wells. im crazee too i guess. and im superr hyperr. im suree i cant slp again tonite. another slpless nite i guessed.

tmr is a superr superr tiring dae i bet. dere's morning run. dunno how muchh we're gonna run alreadi. and dere's 1 hr of pe. and dere's trng tmr after sch. arghh. its a whole dae of running i tell u. and i'm worn out by all the running we did alreadi.

dammit. we're running all our life. and yeahh. running and still running. haix. i hate running. i hope i can jus run awae frm running.

alrites. i'll be off now. auntie is nagging fer me to go to her now. she's gonna do masque fer me. yupps. gtg. tke kaire. and lurve ya many many :))

yada. yada. its backk to sch todae. so glad to c everione again. hahs. of course i got many surpriseesss. heh. many many. sum are not too nicee though.

one is tat cheryl rebonded her hairr. hahas. i tink dere's no much diff aniwae. cus her fringe still looks the same. the other surprises. erm. well. i dowana mention dem.

and fuckk. fuck the stupid class seating arrangments. was actualli sitting at the same corner wich i alwaes used to sit. den dis crap happened.

i was hiding behind my bag. hoping tat mrs low doesn't shift me around. and sum crap happened. fuck.

mrs low: hmm. let me see. i tink tat the seating arrangment remain liddat fer the time being.
charisa: luckyy me. can continue to msg in class. hahas (jus tat chen i shan i behind me.)
mrs low: oohhh. i dun like my charisa hiding in the corner dere.
charisa: dammit. fcuk her.
mrs low: charisa. i want you to shift ur seats wiv shamini.
charisa: *bangs head on the table* (whole class laugh like fuck.)

den i realised tat i was supposed to sit right smackk in the middle of the class. (center of attraction. i guessed.) and the worst thing is. i'm sitting beside monisha. arghh. not tat i'm racist. but i nvr liked her. well. hu does?

haix. fucking luckk. so i shall jus remain in the middle happily. sucks. and i shall be the center of attraction. i alwaes do. but now. its in the middle of the class. even betta :( hahas.

uh huhh. the sec1s dis yr look so smallll. and i mean reallie small. hahas. dey suree look cutee. dun dey? jus tat their belts are a lil too high. hahass. but dey're reallie cutee. and a lil nerdy fer the start. maybe. =X

i tink everione has change in a way or the other. hahas. everione looking muchh more preetierr alreadi. horr. hawhaw. yeahh. and i tink everione is looking forward to everithing. and hope tat dis yr will be betta.

oohhh wells. townn wad busting wiv students yesterdae. surly. seen and met so many of my frends. reallie missed dem hell loads. and it was so nice to see dem. after all townn is the place. tat u can find anione. aniwhere. yupps.

i'm tired now. and i have to wake up at 5 to bathe and go fer trng. damn. trng is so early todae. haix. aniwae. i'll have a short slp. yawns. tke kaire peepos. lurve ya many many.

place ur hands in mine. i'll bring u where i wanna.

its backk to schhh tmr. woah. how fast can the holidaes end.

dammit. i haven started on my holidae assignments and i haven sewn my damn belt. sucks. i'm wondering if i shud jus sewn it on. but i dunno where to sew it at. i'll alwaes be sewing it a lil too high(seldom) or too low(alwaes).

arghh. i got so muchh to do. and i haven settle wiv daddy and mummy bout my allowance. wonder how muchh i'll get. haix.

alrites. i shud be going. yeahh. will be seeing everione tmr. heh. wonder if dey have changed? maybe a extreme makeover? hahas. maybe.

anyhow. slp well todae. and yupps. c u girls in schh tmr. and to everione. have a happie dae in sch tmr. i'll be alwaes free to recieve ur msg-es. hahas. tke kaire. slp tight. sugar dreams :)

i wonder..
if things were still the same..
and if we'll continue to be..
the same as alwaes..
i wonder..