im beatt.
todayy was a longg day in sch.
sch ended at 2.15pm as usual.
was supposed to haf maths supplementry.
but it was cancelled.

so we went to do our art work.
we so had to complete it by todayy.
cause the deadline was tmr morning.
everyone was rushing the hell out of themselves.
and smth damn funny and stupid happened.

cyber lodge was in a total greatt mess.
everyone was talking and screaming at the top of their voices.
i was blasting tata young. sexaye. naughtyy. bitchyy.
and at the next lab, mr lee or smth was conducting webpage designing lessons.
he found us vry irritating.
so he came overr to give us a piece of his mind.

and oh gosh.
he sounded like total gay kaes.
and he waved his hands as he talked.
everyone was holding backk their laughter.
after all, he was like scolding us.
then when he stepped out of the lab.

smth crazyy happened.
the lab sort of like EXPLODED.
it exploded with all our laugher.
it was reallyy damn loudd.
cause the wayy he scolded us and the way he looked was damn funny.

then all of a sudden.
he stepped in the lab agn and screamed at the top of his voice.
he said tht we didnt respect him.
and he chased us out of the lab.
everyone had to leave immediately.
whadeheckk.

but a certain teacher with a kind soul gave us permission to go in the lab agn.
but we had to promise to be quiet.
and we manage to complete our work. just in time.
its like woahh.

but i swear tht it was damn funny.
you could haf just died laughing there.
totally.

uhh. and i dont think im gonna slp tonight.
cause i got so much assignments to be completed.
i dunno if i can complete them.
ive to draw my art piece and paint it.
and i still got a 4 chpt history test.

D-I-E

i think i better get going and start on my assignments.
hope tht everyone can complete their assignments.
and catch some slp tonightt. at least.
and i need some coffee now.

so yeahh.
thts bout it.
takkairee`

sowhatifithurts.
causeyoudontevencareanymore.

God's grace puts me in awesome wonderr.

sometimes i wonder if im walking alone in the dark.
sometimes i wonder if im falling into a dark hole.
sometimes i wonder if no one understands me.
sometimes i wonder if no one cares bout me.
sometimes i wonder if i could just die the next moment.

sometimes i feel so lost.
i feel tht my world is falling.
i feel tht my life is worthless.
i feel tht life has no meaning.

but at the darkest point of my life.
i see a light somewhere.
i see a spark of hope glowing.

God havent forsaken me.
though im such a sinner.
but God is still with me.
God is still leading me thru.
he kept his promise tht he will nvr forsake me.
and he was there when i needed him the most.

God's grace and mercy is always sufficient for us.
his mercy and grace is beyond the decriptions of words.
God's love is everr so sweettt.
its everr so truee.
it speaks nothing but truth.

God is Good. Praise the Lord!!

rightio.
todayy was preettyy bad.
woke up with a sore throat.
was feeling reallyy dehydrated in the morning.
but i guess im fine now.
thank god. i thought i was dying.

ohs wells.
im reallyy happy with myself.
cause at least i did smth constructive.
i didnt waste my time away.
i did 2 chpts of history notes kaes.
whaha. it was under the influence of carolyn though.

but i did it myself.
which means tht im a great too.
charissaaa` the greatt?
thts being too ego -laughs
or ratherr.
charissaaa` is a good girrl.

whheee!!
whooppeee!!

uhh. i want to skip p.e class tmr.
so im gonna ask mummy to write a letter to excuse me.
againn~
mr eric was preetty muchh vry pissed last week.
cause i came w/o a letter to excuse myself.
so i hafta get a letter to excuse myself tmr.
and pray tht he wont be pissed.

i shall end heree.
im tired.
and i need a rest.

__________`charissaaa loves you*__________

*cheerios*

on lovee`

some people think tht lovee is blind,
but i think lovee is beautiful.
everything and everyone can feel lovee.

birds, humans and animals
-all living creatures needs lovee.

lovee is the sweetest thing.
lovee is smth tht is beyond descriptions of words.
lovee can be anything you want it to be.
lovee makes the world go round.

lovee can hurt too.
lovee means letting someone you lovee go.
lovee means tearing when you think about the past.
lovee means hurting urself and always thinking of the best for someone you lovee.

lovee is a choice.

on lovee`

some people think tht lovee is blind,
but i think lovee is beautiful.
everything and everyone can feel lovee.

birds, humans and animals
-all living creatures needs lovee.

lovee is the sweetest thing.
lovee is smth tht is beyond descriptions of words.
lovee can be anything you want it to be.
lovee makes the world go round.

lovee can hurt too.
lovee means letting someone you lovee go.
lovee means tearing when you think about the past.
lovee means hurting urself and always thinking of the best for someone you lovee.

lovee is a choice.

i found this somewhere.
and i found it quite cutee.
it might sound contridicting.
but heree it goes`

teenagers.

they waer clothes too tightt.
they wear clothes too bigg.
they have funky hairstyles.
i think they need a wig.

they're allowed to stay out.
they're allowed to make out.
they're allowed to wear clothes.
they're allowed to hang out.

they're allowed to have boyfriends.
they're allowed to have girrlfrends.
they cant mind their business.
they're way far into frends.

they're snotty and concieted.
they think they all tht.
they make me want to puke.
but will i be like tht?

-laughs
this is damn funny.
cause it sounds like us.
anyhows. its just for funn.
dont take it to heart.
so yeahh.

ive been feeling reallyy down for the past week.
i dunno whyy im feeling this wayy.
nothing reallyy bad has happened.
but i feel damn sadd now.
maybe im being silly.

mid yrs are coming soon.
in a short month's time.
and im still in the play-my-life-awayy mood.
and i havent switched to the mugg-like-madd mood.

though i noe the consequences i'll get, if i do badly.
cause ive promise so many ppl tht i'll work hard.
do well for my mid yrs.
if not, at least show good improvments at least.
and i'll be letting all of them down if i do badly.

i noe i can do it.
i so wanted to give my best.
and show the world how much i could actually do.
but i just dun seem to be able to get into the study mood.
i noe time is running short for me.
but i shall still try my best.

______________________________________________

sometimes when i think bout the past.
i feel tht tears are flowing out of my eyes.
but im always holding them backk.
cause i noe tht i havent let myself or you down.
arghh. whateverr. im starting to think bout it agn.

so yeahh.
i shall keep myself busy.
takkairee ppl.
*cheerios*

iloveyoutoomuchtomakeyoustay.

godmusthafspentalilmoreetimeonyou*

ohs wells.
i think im gonna die todayy.
cause i got so much assignments.
and i havent like reallyy started on them.
and the worst thing is.
all those work tht havent been done are alr overdued.
for like so many days. and even weeks.

dammit.
i think its time i get started with all my work.
cause its alr april. its gonna be may soon.
and tht means. time files.
four months has been gone.
and ive like wasted all of it.
thts reallyy pure madness.

oh yeahh.
speaking of may.
i want to announce smth heree.
its a very important thing.
very very very important!!
its even moree important then getting married.

cause. on the luckiest day in may.
which is 7 may.
is a very important date.
its charissaaa`s birthdayy.
whheeee!!
-gRinS

*hint hint*
so you shld haf gotten my hint.
-laughs out loudd.

so yeahh.
takkaire.
study hard for the mid yrs.
*cheerios*

imreallyysorrybuturenottheone`

rightio.
sch started out prettehh well.
but it was reallyy bad towards the end.
very very very bad.
and i reallyy mean very BAD.

:(

we sort of had some stupid quarell.
cause we were all in a foul mood.
and charissaaa was pmsing like crazyy.
at tht exact time.
how 'exact' can tht be.
crap.

so now i understand what all of you haf thought of me.
now i noe tht everything was actually a bluff.
its reallyy bad how you can think of these things to sayy.
and its reallyy wierd how close we can be.
when you all havent reallyy haf accepted me as the way i am.

and saying tht ive been taking advantage of all of you.
and tht im treating all of you like my slaves?
oh god. how good can ur ideas get?
when did i treat you all as a slave? when did i?
its reallyy too hard for me to understand.

cause thru my conscience and heart.
i noe tht i havent been doing all tht.
and so i shall sayy this:

and i didnt hold my pride too high saying this.

i might haf been a lil too harsh on words.
cause i dunno what uve gone thru recently.
i will say sry for tht.
but i think uve all gotten smth wrong.
cause i havent been treating you all like a slave.
but i think if thts what you think.
pitying or feeling sorry for me so tht i'll not hurt myself.
and treating me like a friend and then smashing me right thru.
tht wasnt all tht i could haf thought of.
cause all of you havent understood charissaaa.
and havent accepted herr the way she is.
cause this is the wayy she is.
and now we dont owe each other anymore things.
if thts what you want.
it might just be an end to our everything.
maybe. if thts what you reallyy want.

tht shall be it.
i dun haf the mood to blogg anymoree.
and if you everr bother to read this.
i think uve gotten my point.

so yeahh.
takkaire peepos.

iveputmypridehighandiwillstillleavewithit`

ive been fighting my feelings.
ive been holding my tears backk.
i never wanted any tear to fall.
but now i think its time to let them go.

alrightt.
i shall try to be positive.
but i reallyy need to let my tears go.
so i shall go and cryy now.

ithurtstoomuchthaticantfeelit`

im getting panda eyes.
a lil pimple breakouts.
and its bad hairr dayy.
and that means. a vry vry bad thing.
charissaaa` is pmsing.
eekksss.

it can get reallyy bad if she starts pmsing.
eh. actually not reallyy larh.
charissaaa pms-es half of herr life.
does it makes a difference now that she's pmsing?
nononoo. it doesnt.
she is still as sweettt and nicee as everr. rightt?
so all you ppl shall sayy: yes. charissaaa is everr so sweettt and nicee (lols).

today was preetty exhausting.
i dunno whyy it seem so tiring.
maybe cause i stayed a lil too late ystd nightt.
i only fell asleep at bout close to 4a.m?
and woke up at 8a.m to get ready for church.

its easter sunday today.
the lil children celebrated easter todayy.
they had so much funn hunting for:
easter eggs. chocolates. sweettss. and many other stuffs.
all arnd the whole church.
its so funn and its damn cutee.

-imagine this.
lil boys and girrls wearing small lil clothes and shoes.
all running arnd the whole church.
looking for easter treats.
ohs. how cutee can that be.

charissaaa wants to join them too.
but sadly. she has alr grown up.
she's too old for all those easter treats.
further moree they'll just make herr fatt in the end.
and they will spoil herr dieting plan.

_______okayss. shall get serious now charissaaa`

and i think after this easter.
im beginning to feel God's presence in my life.
God's love is so sweettt.
God's love is so real.
God's love speaks the truth.

after all that ive experienced in my life.
after all that God haf done for me.
all the wonderous works that he haf worked in my life.
i think that i reallyy haf to give thanks for all that God haf given me.
even all the bad times that God haf put me thru.

its all and all of God's wonderful plan.
that made me feel God's presence.
its so sweettt. so real. and everr so true.
its always filled with mercy and grace.
something that is beyond words.
something that is unexplainable.

it made me realised that God is such a good God.
and im such a sinner.
but God still loves me.
and i'll always believe that.
all thru life's journey.
i'll always haf a God that will always be with me.

charissaaa shall grow up to be a strong girrl.
a girrl who loves God as much as he loves herr.
and she shall be a great living testimonial for God.
she will testify for God one day.

`alwaysgivethankswithagreatfulheart.

everything was a lil last minute todayy.
meeting ailin was last minute.
going to carolyn's church was last minute.
and many other last minute stuffs.
everything was last minute.

uhh. and after coming hme.
its even moree boringg.
and the worst thing is.

im starting my maths tuition tmr.
in church. after praise and worship.
im gonna haf maths tuition.
this is getting damn crazyy.

ohs wells.
its easter sundayy tmr.
gonna attend church agn.
im attending church frm.
fridayy to sundayy.

see. charissaaa's such a good girrl.
God loves herr. muah !
she loves God too. mwa!

so yeahh.
takkairee.
love you all lots.

butistillmissyou*
`andinoemyprinceisjustsomewherenear//.

lets try to be holy todayy.
ohs wells.

its good friday today.
its the day that jesus christ died.
for sinners like us.
on the old rugged cross.

three days frm now.
will be easter sundayy.
which is the day that jesus christ resurected.
but thats three days awayy.

so yeahh.
god loves me.
god loves you.
god loves everyone.

heree i go`

jesus loves all lil children.
all the children of the world.
red and yellow. blackk and white.
all are precious in his sightt.
jesus loves all lil children of the worldd!!

alrightt. haven i just sung a songg.
that i always use to sing when i was young.
okayss. im a lil girrl.
and god so loved me.
amen*

hehh. haven i been so holy todayy?
not playing or joking arnd.
but seriously.
its all my life's experience ive gone thru.
and i will always noe that.

god's grace and mercy is always sufficient for us.
god will nvr forsake us.
god's grace nvr fails to amazes me.
god is good. praise the lord.

for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son.
jesus christ. and whoever believes in him.
shall not perish. but haf eternal life.
saint john 6:16

so yeahh.
takkaire peepos.

god loves you.

ohs wells.
im oohhs-sooo-superr-BORED.
and my legg hurtss.
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalaa =)

im not getting enough sleep this days.
i dunno why sleeping so much.
cause me not to get enough sleep.
and if sleeping moree makes me moree tired.
then why shld i even sleep moree.

my life is turning upside down.
and i dunno when to catch my sleep backk.
and i always tends to get tired and sleepy during lessons.
thats the worst part.
and its especially during maths lesson.
when mr ng goes too fast and when i dun catch a thing.

then -bloppsss head on the table.
*yawns*
and sleep.

uhh wells.
i just dun understand why im getting preettyyy tired this days.
its like going thru a timejet.
but my complexion seem to get better.
uhh. thats out of the point eitherr.
im going crazyy like i sayy.

alrightt.
that shall be it.
im ending heree.
rightt heree. rightt now.

`takkairee ppl. i sayy again.
-huggs

`andallisayisletthefairytalebeginn.

ohs wells.
sch haven been greatt or anything.
in fact its getting even worst now.
arghh. and i cant stand it anymore.
things haf gotten preetty complicated and deep as well.
and now that i reaslised it.
('the staff room is oohhh-sooo-small.')

and even mdn zuraida can ask me wadd happened.
i guessed it has become a bigg thing.
now that it has spreaded thru the staff room.
haix. since it has happened.
i'll just let it pass.
cause its my fault after all.

shnt broad overr all dis crap.
cause im really going crazyy wif all dis happenings.
not like dey're good.
dey're all fucking stressing me up.
but i shall be brave and get overr it.
like i said. it was after all my fault.

and im reallyy proud of myself.
cause i finally understand all the unequalities craps.
and i finally can slove the equations myself.
yayysss*
charisaa has gotten overr how to do herr maths equations.

alrightt. shall stop heree.
im like stuck writing testimonial for 6 ppl.
-laughs out loudd.

takkaire ppl.
tata.

imurbarbiegirrl`

boohoo.
haven been blogging for 2 days?
but i tink ive settled most of everything.
yeahh. i tink so. moree of less.
and i feel sooo much betterr now.

and dis is to ailin.
stop calling me barbie.
and its barbie. not babi.
understand.
-laughs out loudd.

`imabarbiegirrl

things are getting preetty deep now.
and now that i realised it.
everything is getting complicated.
and its like implicating everyone.
its getting too deep in heree.

alrightt. its all my fault.
everything is all my fault.
my fault. my fault.
charisaa's fault. herr fault.

grr. just hope that everything gets settled.
and that it'll stop inplicating others.
and im reallyy sry bout that.
(if you noe wadd im talking bout)

its getting a lil too deep in heree.

alrightt. was complaining bout trngs and stuffs yesterday.
crazyy me. stupid me. silly me.
it'll be a long time when you can start hearing my complain bout trngs again.
and i tink i'll miss complaining bout having too much trngs.

cause. its time i put a lil stop to my hockey trngs.
just for the time being.
prolly bout a month or so.
until my grades gets betterr.

i so didnt want to let go.
i still want to continue wif all my trngs.
but daddy and mummy are damn worried.
cause my results fcuking sucks.
especially my maths. the rest are alrightt.

ive got nothing to say.
and ive got nothing to lose.
i tink it'll be a good break for me.
and a time for me to concentrate and dwell into my books.
i dun reallyy haf much time anymore.

but im gonna miss my all trngs.
although they gets reallyy tough at times.
and coach gets reallyy crazyy at times.
but i noe that i am. and i will.
MISS MY TRNGS.


but rightt now.
its studying superr hard.
thats all wadd im gonna do.
and i'll be backk in trngs within a month.

ive promised daddy.
im gonna start all overr againn.
study hard.
and i will make it.

i noe i'll miss trngs.
hope that i'll still be able to catch up after a month.
uhh huhh.so yeahh.

anotherr shoutout for the sec2 hockey girrls`

one month is a short time. really short. i might be gone for good. for some of you. but. i'll still miss all of you. train hard. and study hard too. alrightt? will miss training will all of you terribly. -hugss

charisaa will be gone for now.
and
charisaa will be backk soon.

imissyou++